And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. "When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
"Pray then in this way: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not bring us to the time of trial, but rescue us from the evil one. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
I don’t know what Thanksgiving is like in your family, but in my family Thanksgiving is a huge event. For a long time I thought everyone’s Thanksgiving was like ours, but I found out that ours is a little more over the top than most. Most people have a family meal around 1 or 2 p.m., and then settle in to watch football. In our house, we don’t even get started until 7 p.m. We gather at my parents’ house with family from all over the country: Seattle, Los Angeles, San Diego, Philadelphia, Boston, Colorado, Washington, D.C. We can have up to 45 people gathering for dinner.
Often during and after dinner the topic turns to those two forbidden topics: politics and religion. And when they do, the discussions can get quite boisterous. I remember one Thanksgiving, over twenty years ago, when the discussions turned to religion late at night. My father and I were talking about Christian faith, and a friend of the family, who visits every Thanksgiving, got into the discussions. This man was an agnostic leaning toward atheism, and soon our discussion became quite heated.
At the time, I was in my second or third year of seminary, and I was being influenced heavily by other students who believed that we should convert people at every opportunity. So, during this discussion, I felt it was my responsibility to convince this friend of the family that he needed to believe. The problem was that it was around 11 p.m., and we all had had a little bit too much food and, uh,… er,… other substances. So the discussion became quite emotional. In fact, we both got very angry with each other. It got to the point at which I think he was getting ready to hit me. Normally that might not be so much of a problem. I was athletic and able to handle myself. But this guy was a retired professional hockey player who used to play for the Pittsburgh Penguins, and gained much of his reputation from his fighting. Not a wise person to fight with at midnight on Thanksgiving. Thankfully, my father intervened and managed to calm us both down. But by then the damage was done. I had gone way over the top (although it took me several years later to realize it) in my defense of Christianity.
What was the problem? I had pushed dogma and doctrine to him, rather than simply sharing my experiences. I was pushing the idea that he had to agree with me if he was to be saved. I think I might have even dropped the H-bomb in our discussion (much to my embarrassment now). What’s the H-bomb? It’s when a Christian doesn’t know what else to say, and then says, “Well, if you don’t agree you’re probably going to Hell.” Awful stuff to say, and I think it does more damage to non-Christians than almost anything else we Christians say.
I came away from that evening having learned my lesson: religion should be kept private. I had been taught that lesson earlier in my life, but I had forgotten it. Most of us had learned that lesson. It’s taught to us early: don’t talk about your faith. Pray in private. Keep your faith private. That’s what many of us learned.
Still, despite learning these lessons, do you know what made a difference in my faith? It was the people who refused to play by the rules, people who wouldn’t keep their faith private, but talked about it anyway. For example, there was one person who had a big influence on me. I only knew her for about a year. Her name was Reeanne, and she was a freshman with me in college. I don’t remember how we began talking, but my freshman year we seemed to have regular conversations about religion and Christianity. Reeanne was a born-again Christian who took her faith and her church very seriously. I had walked away from the church at age 15, and was in a time of searching.
What made a difference with Reeanne was that she never preached doctrine or dogma to me, nor did she ever drop the H-bomb (many others have dropped it on my lap over the years). Instead, she shared her experiences of God. I was somewhat skeptical, but I was also fascinated. She listened to my theories, beliefs, and doubts, and never seemed to judge me. She transferred to another college the following year, and I really don’t know what happened to her. Her sharing her beliefs didn’t have the power to convert me. But they did plant a seed. I don’t even remember what it is that she said specifically. What mattered was the non-judgmental, genuine way she shared her faith. She mixed humor, conviction, and acceptance. While her testimony didn’t convert me, it planted seeds that, mixed with the seeds others have planted in me, eventually led me back to the church and eventually into ministry.
My father also was a seed planter. My father has always had a strong faith, yet his faith has never been dogmatic. Often we would sit around the table with him, talking religion, and my father never judged what we said. It didn’t matter that generally he was the defender of Christian faith amidst four children who questioned Christianity. He shared his experiences. He talked about how grateful he was for his life, and how blessed he felt, and how the only way he could give back to God was to give to the church and to charity. For him, giving was an essential part of life. And those lessons stuck with us.
Over the years so many people have shared their faith with me, and it has made a difference. I’ve had pastors, professors, and friends share their faith. And this sharing still makes a difference. One of the most powerful sources of faith sharing for me comes from you, the members of our church. Every time you share your stories with me, it makes a difference. Among the people who make a difference are the members of our Thursday morning men’s group, which we call The Men’s Room (get it?). Every time members of that group share their faith, it makes a difference to me. I guess the question is, where would my faith be if everyone kept their faith private and secret? When people share their faith it makes a huge difference.
Have you ever wondered where the rule that faith should be kept private came from? It certainly didn’t come from the Bible. Personally, I believe that the belief comes from our country’s belief in the separation of church and state. Many people think that the idea of separation of church and state is in the constitution, but it isn’t. What is in the constitution is that the government shall not establish any faith as the state religion. From what I understand, the idea of the separation of church and state came from the writings of Jefferson and Madison, and it was rooted in the colonial experience. You have to remember that in Europe, during the 17th and 18th century, the government declared what the sate religion was. In England, the state religion often shifted back and forth between the Church of England, (the Anglican faith) and Roman Catholicism, with the stated religion most often being the Church of England. Even today the queen of England is considered to be the head of the Anglican Church.
The colonists came to America to escape religious persecution. The Puritans, Quakers, Baptists, Presbyterians, and even Roman Catholics, all came to America to gain a sense of freedom to worship and practice faith in their own way. This is the heritage our founding fathers were given. They did not want to create a new state religion. So the idea of the separation of church and state was meant to keep the state from establishing a state religion. They were not trying to create a wall that would make people keep their faith private. The founding fathers understood that faith could be brought into politics through individual politicians and their constituents. But the state should have no power to determine what faith people should adhere to. Thus, the idea that faith should be kept private, I believe, is partly a result of a misreading of the intent of the founding fathers, who believed religion should influence the state, but the state should not establish a religion.
Now, at this point, if you are really astute, you will be thinking, “But Graham, didn’t our passage just say we should keep our prayers private?” No, what our passage is really saying is that we should keep our faith authentic. Go back to the passage. Jesus says, “And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” People think this means that we should keep our faith private, but that’s because they don’t really understand the context of what Jesus was saying.
Jesus was living in a time of public religion in which everyone was part of the Jewish faith, and many people had a zeal to outdo each other in appearing righteous. For many people the point was much more to be about appearing to be faithful than about actually being faithful. It had become a practice for some of the most religious-appearing folks to stand on street corners and pray the required prayers publicly so all could see how faithful they were. They were trying to gain respect and prestige. In many ways the ancient Jewish faith was like the present Muslim faith. You know that the Muslims pray five times a day while facing east to Mecca, right? Well the Jews of Jesus time recited memorized prayers five times a day, too. There was one set of memorized prayers that they recited upon waking and before bed. There was another set of prayers recited at mid-morning, the early afternoon, and the late afternoon. Some of the religious recited their prayers publicly and loudly so that others could see how righteous they were. Jesus considered their faith to be hypocritical, inauthentic, and for personal gain. Our passage was about Jesus encouraging people to form an authentic faith. He taught them to pray away from the eyes of others so that the prayers could be focused solely on God and nothing else. He was not advocating a private faith, since for the rest of his ministry he was very, very public with his faith, encouraging the disciples to have a public faith, too. \
I think that this passage is really pointing out something that’s missing among too many modern Christian: authenticity. So much of modern Christianity has to do with marketing and entertainment that I think it bleeds authenticity, and many non-Christians sense it. They see all the attempts of Christians to attract non-Christians at all costs, hear Christians expound about love while failing to love, and know Christians who live duplicitous lives. The result is that they are turned off by our inauthenticity. Jesus was pushing people to have an authentic faith.
What does it mean to have an authentic faith? One of the best examples I’ve seen comes from a poem written by a Christian, Carol Wimmer, titled, “When I Say I Am a Christian:”
When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not shouting, "I've been saved!"
I'm whispering, "I get lost! That's why I chose this way"
When I say, "I am a Christian," I don't speak with human pride
I'm confessing that I stumble-needing God to be my guide
When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not trying to be strong
I'm professing that I'm weak and pray for strength to carry on
When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not bragging of success
I'm admitting that I've failed and cannot ever pay the debt
When I say, "I am a Christian," I don't think I know it all
I submit to my confusion asking humbly to be taught
When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are far too visible but God believes I'm worth it
When I say, "I am a Christian," I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartache which is why I seek His name
When I say, "I am a Christian," I do not wish to judge
I have no authority--I only know I'm loved. (Copyright 1988 Carol Wimmer)
Sharing your faith can make a huge difference in people’s lives. It’s amazing what seeds you can plant by just sharing with others the role God plays in your life, and how you’ve experienced God. Unfortunately, there is a wrong way to share faith, and it is the way I shared faith with that family friend many years ago at Thanksgiving. That way of sharing faith is about having the right beliefs, dogma, and doctrine, when what we really need to do is to simply share experiences. Telling people how God has touched our lives makes a difference. Telling people how Calvin Church has touched our lives makes a difference. Whether you feel comfortable with it or not, Christian faith is meant to be shared. My question for you is, have you shared your faith lately?
